New Lunenburg restaurant Lightwright attracts tourists seeking Shipwright, Lightship (April Fools)

(Photo submitted by Lightwright Brewery Taproom. Disclaimer, photo is clearly generated by an AI Tool and not representative of the actual Lightwright Brewery Taproom.)

Lunenburg’s culinary landscape is shifting – launching ship tout de suite, Lightwright Brewery Taproom.

Lightwright’s menu lists “lightweight lagers” and “Detroit-style pizzas,” revitalizing the languishing Burger King space at Falkland and Lincoln – the exact midpoint of Shipwright Brewing Company Taproom and Lightship Brewery.

The Barnacle was on the scene for a special opening party on April 1, where the conversation was lukewarm and confused.

“I really want to support a new local business, I do, but – come on, the name?” said a guest speaking on condition of anonymity, hesitantly playing with a lite-brite toy at their table. “Love Lightship, love Shipwright – not sure what they’re going for with ‘Lightwright.’”

Performing an investigation with the Shazam app, The Barnacle determined the bar’s playlist was all Nightwish, a symphonic Finnish metal band.

One visitor who told the Barnacle they are in town for the day said, “My friends say, ‘meet us at Lightship.’ I see this place – it has pictures of ships on the wall, has a sign saying ‘Lightwright’ – figured this must be what they meant. That’s why I’m finishing off this Schooner I already paid for before I make it down the street.”

(Google Maps)

“I should have known, because there was no beautiful view of the ocean like they said. Instead, I’m in a former Burger King that seems like it was designed in every aspect to be described in a complicated Eminem verse.”

Lightwright was wrought by shopkeep Liam Wainwright.

Listen around the No. 9 Cafe counter in the morning, and you’ll hear hushed questions about who the owners of Lightwright must know at the Registry of Joint Stocks to get away with having a business name seemingly designed to confuse potential patrons seeking competing local businesses.

Wainwright tells The Barnacle how he got away with it.

“My family’s trade was of the lightwright, who kept lighthouse lights shipshape. The name is legitimate, in tribute to our maritime trade of bright, tight, night fighters who kept shipwrecks out of the shipscape,” says Wainwright.

“Also, my aunt is a supervising manager down at the Registry’s Halifax office, so she helped explain it to everyone there.”


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