As the calendar turns and we enter another year, time is top of mind for me, and I’m not alone. Most working adults in North America feel they are time-poor, meaning there is too much to do with too little time, and nearly half report having no free time at all.
Time scarcity doesn’t just reduce happiness and well-being; it reshapes how we show up in the world by eroding connection and community. When people feel rushed, they become less patient, less generous, and less altruistic.
As Cassie Holmes, author of Happier Hour, says, “The real answer isn’t about being time-rich. It’s about making the time you have rich.” One of the practices she recommends is recognizing how finite our meaningful moments truly are. When I did this exercise, I was shocked by the results. Based on our current in-person meeting frequency, I have only 19 visits left with my best friend, who lives in BC. We’ve already spent 99% of our time together. Knowing this immediately makes me want to savour those visits more deeply and find ways to create additional moments of cherished connection.
A good visual representation of time as finite is the golf ball jar video. An empty jar is first filled with golf balls, then pebbles, and finally sand. The sand is the small stuff, and the golf balls are the important things, like health, relationships, and passions. If you start with sand, there’s no room left for the golf balls. When we don’t plan intentionally, the soul-nourishing things get squeezed into whatever space remains.
I recently visited a friend who had a massive year-long calendar mounted on their kitchen wall. I was awestruck. Concerts, weddings, and smaller day trips every month were all mapped out for the year ahead. Seeing the year at a glance made it obvious what deserved a yes and what didn’t. Saying no then becomes easier. One of my favourite responses is “That’s just not workable.” No explanations. No guilt or justifications.
Planning your time offensively and putting the good stuff first may look selfish, but I assure you it isn’t. When you anchor your life in meaning and joy, you show up more present, generous, and alive for yourself and for others. Instead of being directed by external validation, choose what’s intrinsically rewarding to you. As Mary Oliver asks, “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
