Dear Anne,
I recently attended a concert of a musician that I like. Seated behind me at the venue was a guy who was obviously a huge fan of this musician. He sang along (loudly) with every song throughout the 90-minute concert. He did not miss a single word. He wasn’t a bad singer, but I heard his voice more than the actual singer’s. The whole time I debated turning around to ask him to stop, but I didn’t want to burst his bubble, nor did I want an awkward confrontation. Looking back, I’m regretting not saying something, as his non-stop singing ruined the show for me. Did I mess up by not saying anything? Or was I right to keep quiet?
Sincerely,
Concert Goer
Dear Concert Goer,
This is an interesting question, as I think it depends on the type of concert. If it was a punk or hard rock concert, the general protocol is dancing, singing, yelling, and generally losing oneself in the moment.
However, if this was a folk/acoustic, more Madison Violet, Joel Plaskett, Small Glories type event, then, yes, this would be absolutely annoying.
I have begun to notice a self-absorbed tendency since the pandemic. For instance, maybe a weird parallel, but when driving to Bridgewater, I often have someone tailgating me. I really hate this with a passion, so I pull over to the shoulder, let them pass, and then pull out behind them. I often wonder if they realize why I pulled over, but I think they are so focused on their own destination and their own little world, they don’t even notice my discomfort or annoyance.
I suspect this is the same with your singing buddy.
The most gracious thing to do in this case is to find an usher, ask to be moved to an open seat, if one is available, and if one is not, ask the usher to address the over exuberant singer, who, I would assume, is probably ruining the concert experience for others as well.
I do think it was wise not to confront the person directly. These days, it is hard to know what kind of reaction you might get.
You reminded me of a time when I was about twelve and my family went to see a movie together. There were a group of middle school boys sitting behind us talking and laughing during the movie. Finally, my father, who was quite stern and kind of scary to kids, turned around and said to them, “your feet smell.” The boys went silent for a minute, and then, one by one, they got up and moved to new seats away from us. Mission accomplished.
Anne
