Not a lot separates ritual and routine. They are both things that we do like clockwork, but routine can be banal and ritual is sacred. The difference? Meaning.
For one person, a trip to the market on Thursdays is just another thing to check off their to-do list. For someone else, it’s the highlight of their week because it means something to them.
That’s what I’m thinking about this holiday season: how to make it chock full of meaning and tradition without sucking the fun out of it for me. (Moms furiously nodding everywhere).
Growing up, I always put the Christmas lights up with my dad. We also were allowed to open one present on Christmas Eve and it was always new pajamas.
There’s magic behind tradition, but also science. Families who have traditions feel more connected and have a stronger identity, as if to say, “this is who we are.” It also lessens anxiety for kids who know that even if things change, they also stay the same.
There has been a lot of change for our little family this year with a new baby, new house and school for the first time so getting grounded in tradition feels very timely. But they are also such fun ages! Our four-year-old can’t stop talking about Santa and our two-year-old does whatever his older sister does. (Our three-month-old is prioritizing his long winter naps).
For the first time ever last year, we made a new tradition by celebrating Christmas with friends who also don’t have extended family here. It was my favourite Christmas ever. So, this year, we plan to host something over the holidays to make sure we get together with friends. The moms on my street are also going mummering (!!), dropping by our friends’ houses to spread some Newfoundland holiday cheer. And of course, the first big tradition is decorating the tree as a family as holiday music plays.
The micro moments are also important and something I hope builds that identity as a family for my kids. Watching the claymation Rudolph movie in front of the fire, baking goodies and of course, opening pajamas on Christmas Eve.
Kelly Linehan, RCT-C, is an optimist, proud Lunenburger, mom, wife and friend.
