QUIZ: What clique were you part of at Scarecrow High?

(Optional: for best experience, play the Scarecrow High Anthem.)

The 2004 film Mean Girls has taken up so much space in our pop culture realm for two reasons: it’s funny and it’s true.

Human beings love to categorize themselves (if you’re a fan of these quizzes, then you are a great example of this tendency) and this urge is particularly strong during those baffling and inescapable high school years.

Adolescents are trying to create a distinct identity. Sometimes this means they play rugby. Other times it means they colour in their nails with black Sharpie and mistakenly believe that listening to Paramore makes them edgy.

During the famous cafeteria scene in Mean Girls, wise and jaded Janice gives new kid Cady a tour of the high school’s social groups using a cafeteria map. The jocks don’t mix with the band geeks, and so on.

The scene is an exaggeration, obviously, but at its core is an undeniable truth: people mingle with those like them, and this is particularly true in high school.

In the international realm of pop culture, Mean Girls reigns as an iconic film. In our hyperlocal realm, the Mahone Bay Scarecrows are cultural icons.

The festival seems to grow more powerful each year, creating more scarecrow soldiers to guard the sweet, seemingly innocent town. (Please tell me I am not the only one to suspect the scarecrows are coming to life each night and lurching around Mahone Bay under the moonlight, searching for their next victim.)

In a review of the Mahone Bay Scarecrow Festival on TripAdvisor, a user writes, “No offense to the Pumpkin People in Kentville but Mahone Bay's event is much better.”

If you never thought you’d read the words “No offense to the Pumpkin People” written unironically, then you haven’t lived in Nova Scotia long enough.

All this leads me to ask an important question: Which clique would you belong to at Scarecrow High?

The Mahone Bay scarecrows certainly have complex social dynamics that we humans are blissfully unaware of. So, sit back, get in touch with your inner scarecrow, and prepare to find your new family.

As a scarecrow, where would you like to spend your days?

In front of a popular business on Edgewater Street where you can be admired by all.

The porch of Bluestone Magik from which you will observe the silly humans.

A well-tended lawn of a respectable heritage home.

A shadowy corner where you can frighten children.

When the humans fall asleep at night, you and your scarecrow buddies meet at midnight under the full moon. Which activity do enjoy together?

Blackmailing a warlock into performing a ritual to give you the ability to come to life during the daytime so that you can break free of this feeble existence.

Stealing clothing from clotheslines to update your looks.

Standing together in a circle, not moving, or speaking.

Haunting the nightmares of locals.

What is your opinion of the Pumpkin People in Kentville?

I enjoy their company, but only if they flatter me and acknowledge me as superior.

They’re my pals!

I do not trust them; I am wary of their motives.

Ew. The Pumpkin People are wanna-be losers.

At the upcoming pie competition, which pie would you vote for?

An apple pie made with a family recipe that’s been passed down for generations.

A pumpkin pie that was made with the squashed head of one of the Kentville Pumpkin People.

A scary Halloween-themed pie made with a filling of chocolate, blackberries, and red food colouring meant to resemble guts.

An exquisitely baked chocolate pecan pie topped with whipped cream, strawberries, and carefully drawn icing images of scarecrows.

Which Mahone Bay scarecrow are you excited to see?

Barbra Streisand scarecrow.

Wizard scarecrow.

German settler scarecrow.

Spooky headless scarecrow.