In his famous speech in 1963 in West Berlin, President John F. Kennedy declared, “Ich bin ein Berliner.” In German, this translates to “I am a Berliner.” However, a Berliner is also a scrumptious donut filled with jam or jelly.
JFK stood in solidarity with West Berlin, and he also proudly referred to himself as a yummy pastry. This is not the first time that politics and pastries have entwined, nor will it be the last.
Your choice in pastry can say a lot about you. Where do your values lie? Does the flaky crust of a pie matter more than the gooey filling? Should the chocolate in your pain au chocolat be melty and flexible, or firm and reliable?
It is not enough to simply say, “I like croissants” or “It should be illegal to put raisins in cookies.” One must define themselves precisely in terms of their pastry alignment.
The Barnacle has you covered. The following quiz will measure your values and assign you an alignment on our pastry chart. Perhaps you already know what kind of pastry you are. Or perhaps this will be an unforgettable journey of discovery.
You’re making a pot of porridge and want to spruce it up with a special ingredient. What do you add?
A spoonful of butter.
A handful of crushed pecans.
Chia seeds.
A square of dark chocolate.
It’s date night and you want to impress your sweetheart with your cooking skills. Which meal do you prepare for them?
Roast chicken with farm-fresh peas, sweet potatoes, and a side of wild rice.
Pan-seared cod with a buttery baked potato and a glass of chardonnay.
A hearty vegan stew filled with delicious local vegetables and a glass of ice-cold kombucha.
Black bean burgers made with brioche buns, paired with a frothy glass of chocolate milk.
Your overly adventurous friend invites you on a five-hour hike and requests that you bring the snacks. What do you bring to fuel your journey?
A loaf of bread and a slab of gouda cheese from the farmer’s market.
Chocolate-flavoured energy bars.
Organic beef jerky, baby carrots, and crackers.
A homemade trail mix consisting of raisins, almonds, walnuts, peanuts, and dark chocolate chips.
You are stuck at a dull workplace holiday party. You head to the snack table to escape a dreadfully boring conversation. What do you see that brightens your mood?
A fruit and vegetable tray with a variety of hummuses, dips, and nuts.
A charcuterie board loaded with prosciutto, cheese, vegetables, and fancy bread.
A bubbling chocolate fountain.
A glistening loaf of sourdough bread stuffed with olives and rosemary.
Think back to your childhood. You’re in the elementary school cafeteria. You open your lunch box, nearly trembling with anticipation. You’re wishing with every fibre of your being that there is something good waiting for you and not a bruised clementine or a moist Ziploc bag of carrots. You grin with delight when you see what’s in your lunchbox. It’s…
A slice of white bread slathered in butter.
Leftover mashed potatoes with bacon bits from last night’s dinner.
Hey y’all. I’m a croissant 🫢
Breakfast cookie babiesssssss
With or without chocolate?
I am a Famous Town Pie Shop chicken pot hand pie
Ploughman’s Croissant obvi
Lahave bakery fudge brownie!
Ploughman’s Lunch croissant – who’d know that I’m a regular…